Worst. Art. Ever

I was going to write a note about my return to Speedway – the UK equivalent of Drag Racing but as usual, events, dear boy, events, have overtaken me.

http://www.caplakesting.com/

Daniel Edwards statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug entitled “Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston” is taking up the headlines and rightly so.

As a Middlesbrough season ticket holder I feel uniquely qualified to state that I’ve seen some horrendous shit masquerading as a thing of beauty over the years but this takes the cake, table and the whole WI tent.

The last time I saw an arse that big sticking in the air it was wallowing in the Nile with a crocodile about to take a bite out of it. Her hairstyle looks like she worked in the Slough town centre Wimpy’s in 1968 and as one wag has already pointed out – “this piece is more representative of conception than birth!”

It’s a good job the pictures on the site aren’t 360 degrees because the sight of a tiny-tears head poking out of her mimsy might be too much, even for dedicated fans. (That’s fans of Britney, not Mimsy’s but they don’t have to be mutually exclusive).

I’m not a big fan of Britney or K-Fed meself (who else would marry a man who names himself after an express courier service?) but surely even she deserves a little dignity.

You read that right. The words Dignity and Britney in the same sentence.

I wonder what his encore will be: “Monument to Pro-Choice” – a scale representation of Tracy Barlow performing a handstand while Charlie Stubbs takes aim six inches above the unkempt tee with a 3-wood in front of a horrified Blanche?